There is a space between thinking and reacting and that is the key to changing our behavior and thus our outcomes. It is about being conscious and choosing how to respond.  I was reminded of this concept yesterday when the song The Space Between by Dave Matthews came on the radio.

I just set my goals for the year and published my Year in Review Workbook and my key recommendation was to set a behavioral change goal. One of my goals is to be happy everyday and to do this I need to be conscious of how I think, feel and respond to people and situations. It’s also about being aware and responsible for my own state of mind.  

If you want to be a better leader, team member of just feel happier, then the key is becoming aware of yourself and how you can respond more effectively in the moment.

My dog Chief reminds me of this everyday. He is extremely sensitive and the moment I start to curse or get angry about something he wants to hide. Of course, this doesn’t mean we should never get angry, but his reaction puts things in perspective. Am I getting angry for a good reason and how long will it last?

When I see Chief’s reaction to my anger, I immediately question my behaviour and can take responsibility and put things back into perspective.

How can you increase your own space between your reaction to a situation so that you respond positively and effectively? What bugs you that you can’t really change but causes you to feel anger or some other negative emotion that only brings unhappiness?

Whatever it is you want or need to change to be happier and more effective figure out how to create the space between the trigger and your reaction. It starts with self-awareness and that is a journey in itself.